He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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