My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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