you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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