Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
