Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
How's work?
Spinning.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I want a musical about memes.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
