I showed him my bush... on skype.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
