Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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