"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
