Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
