dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
