i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
