I bet he comes in French.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
