I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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