Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
