I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
