Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
