Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
