Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
