My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
