I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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