it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
