dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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