she was so not down for the gang bang
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just want nice things and good sex
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
