I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
