I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
