wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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