And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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