look no pants
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
