The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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