...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Little spoons don't ask big questions
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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