Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
