I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
