We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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