My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
