He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
