I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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