So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
