last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
