whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i drank out of a bidet.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
