I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I want to have your abortion
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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