I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
