I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
