i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
