I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
