youre lurking in front of me
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
