hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
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