That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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