remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
