yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
