Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
