I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
