amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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